Common misconceptions about bisexuals that are really, really wrong

You’d think that in 2017 bisexuality wouldn’t be such a big deal. But, though more and more people are opening up and identifying that way, there are still a lot of misconceptions about bisexuality that just won’t seem to die. From people not even thinking that bisexuality is real thing (seriously, eff off), to assuming that we’re automatically down to have threesomes with you and everything that moves, people just can’t seem to get it right.

It’s not that complicated. We may be attracted to men AND women. And non-binary people. We’re attracted to anyone we find attractive. But from both straight and queer communities, there still seem to be a lot of questions. So here’s what loads of people think that is totally wrong – because no, we’re not greedy.

1. It doesn’t have to be a 50/50 split

For some reason, people assume if you haven’t had sex with an exactly equal number of men and women, somehow it doesn’t ‘count’. That’s just total nonsense. I’m having fun, not keeping score.

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2. In fact, you don’t have to try all genders to know

You can be straight and have never had sex with anyone, right? Well, you can be bisexual and never have had sex with anyone, too. You know who you’re attracted to and you don’t have to prove it to anyone.

3. We probably don’t want to have a threesome with you

Sorry/not sorry.

4. It’s not about being indecisive

This is a classic. If you eat Domino’s one night and Nando’s the next, are you indecisive? No, you’re a goddamn connoisseur of delicious. The same logic applies to liking multiple genders.

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5. And it’s not a train to ‘gay-town’

I’m sure some people say that they’re bisexual as a gentle transition into coming out as gay – and if that’s your process, that’s totally cool. But for most of us, that’s just not the case. We’re not going anywhere. In fact, a study found that of women who identified as bisexual, only 8% changed their identity to gay or straight over time. That’s 92% staying bi AF.

6. We’re not more likely to cheat

It might sound ridiculous, but science has proved that people believe bisexual individuals are more likely to cheat on partners than other orientations. It’s not ok or true. Some bisexuals have high sex drives, some have low. Some are cheaters, some aren’t. Just like everyone else.

7. It’s not ‘trendy’

WTF does that even mean? So many people have told me that it’s ‘trendy’ to be bisexual. Maybe people are finally feeling comfortable enough to come out and talk about it? It’s an orientation, not a trend.

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8. It doesn’t mean just two genders

A lot of bisexuals aren’t just attracted to men and women, they are attracted to all genders – including those who identify as non-binary. Some people identify as pansexual, some use a more inclusive versions of bisexual and you know what? That’s their call.

9. You can still be bisexual when you’re in a hetero relationship

A bisexual woman isn’t ‘straight’ just because she’s dating a dude. You’re a bisexual all the time. It doesn’t disappear.

10. We’re not all ‘greedy’ sex fiends

Bullsh*t. Please see points 3 and 6. Ok thanks.

11. There’s not a lot of bi privilege

Misconceptions exists in the queer community as well. There’s a lot of talk about bi privilege and how bisexual people can retreat into straight privilege if they want. In fact, a lot of lesbians have sworn off bisexual women. It’s not fair, especially as studies have found bisexuals are more likely to suffer from poor mental health than their straight or gay peers. Not feeling like you belong in the LGBTQ community but not being straight can have some pretty severe consequences.

In some ways, it’s a great time to be bisexual. There’s more awareness, more understanding, and less shame. But there’s still a way to go. So couples, for the love of god, stop trolling us for threesomes on Tinder. Please.


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